Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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