sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
