its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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