I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
