Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
