why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
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FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
