you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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