we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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