If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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