I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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