I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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