well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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