Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
