I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
