Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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