u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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