my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
cat food counts as protein by the way
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
