What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
