Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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