with your own penis?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
