i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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