If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
