its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
