WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
