Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
