You smell like a Billy Joel song
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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