First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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