yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
