she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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