Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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