just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
