when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
