He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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