Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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