The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
