Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
