i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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