You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
