I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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