if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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