Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
