we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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