why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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