"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize