My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The adults are the big ones right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
