Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
