Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
