i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
