I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Dicks are not precious.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
