Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
