I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
