all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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