im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
