Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
