I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
