i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize