How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
