Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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