How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just pee around me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
