can we get nightvision for the apartment?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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