she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
