i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
