His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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