i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
