the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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