His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
