i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
