butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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