Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
