My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
