just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
