addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
