i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
