he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
